Diabetes and Relationships

Diabetes can have a profound impact on relationships. This impact can be positive or negative depending on how people respond to it. This article will briefly examine two different relationships and how to manage the impact of diabetes.

Parents of diabetic children

Raising a child today is challenging enough without worrying about a chronic condition. The parents of diabetic children have to think as though they have diabetes, especially those with children too young to care for themselves. Will their child’s blood sugar go low during the night or at school? Is their child eating all of his/her lunch? Will the school work with them to make sure their child is healthy during school hours? Will their child develop diabetes complications? How do they as a couple answer all of these questions?

Diabetic and non-diabetic spouses

Being married or in a long-term committed relationship requires effort to balance the needs of each person. There is more to consider if one spouse has diabetes. Does the nondiabetic spouse know what to do in an emergency? Will the diabetic take responsibility for his/her diabetes so the non-diabetic spouse doesn’t have to worry? Can the couple openly and honestly discuss changes in their life together due to diabetes? To support the positive and minimize the negative impact of diabetes, three important areas need to be addressed:

  1. Education: Everyone involved needs to become an expert on diabetes. The parents of a diabetic child need to educate their child. A couple will need to continue educating themselves through life changes such as a new career, birth of a child, and aging. You should consult a certified diabetes educator when you are not sure about an issue.
  2. Communication: All involved need to communicate about what they do and do not know about diabetes. The parents need to communicate with each other their concerns and how they will manage them. They also need to talk with their child about practical matters like taking medication and checking blood sugar, and listen to their child’s concerns about diabetes. The diabetic and non-diabetic spouse need to communicate with one another about their diabetes-related concerns and work together to resolve them.
  3. Experience: While experience will resolve old challenges like how to take medication, it also will uncover new challenges presented by diabetes. Only experience will provide the necessary feedback about the need for more education or communication.

There is no right or wrong way to follow these recommendations, but they are the first steps to living with diabetes. You may want to consult a marriage and family therapist if you have trouble working through these areas.

Matt Larkin, MS, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Los Gatos. He has type 1 diabetes and specializes in working with people who have diabetes. For more information on the concepts in this article, Matt can be reached at (408) 399-5677 or mlarkin@comcast.net.